You never doubt your ability, even if you do not always have the right answer immediately. Problems you face are more complex and demanding than usual. It may be helpful to give up some of your usual methods to make room for alternative solutions. Accept to be inspired by others.
You can not always rely on your improvisational skills to keep you afloat in social situations. You have to do research! Prepare for an upcoming party or outing by sharing some details about the other guests. Find out what their interests, likes and dislikes are (you can discover something to help you with subtle matchmaking!). This background knowledge will allow you to have pleasant conversations to build real connections.
In your relationship you feel more and more that it is boring. Both are basically on their own, and most of the time you will have a little chat just before you go to bed, which will not diminish your sense of loneliness. The only thing that helps is: talk, talk, talk! If necessary, get rid of old problems, start over and discover long-forgotten attractions that once brought your partner and you together.